Leaving at first light....

I was about 60/40 this morning at 4am - in favor of staying at home. 
Especially with P&L snuggled up next to me. 
On our just washed and slightly bleached white sheets.
Snoring. It was perfect. Except...

But that line from Shawshank Redemption entered my head as click’ as its. Rhonda and I quoted it together the hospital.  "Get busy living...or"
So, I sat up in bed. And said “screw it!”.
If this causes pain there is probably some gain, in it too.

So, I fed the girls at 5am, showered, packed, and then was out of the door by 6am.   

By the time I was east of Pasadena on the 210, I felt good about my decision.  
Haley (the back-up dog walker) would be at my house to walk the my girls in a few hours, and then return around 7pm to spend the night.  
I really needed to see if I could handle the separation .  
From our bed.
From our girls. 
From our home.
From even our complex.
Even one night.  

I had a queasy feeling in my stomach since until I got to Pasadena..  Then I started to sort of enjoy the ride.

I enjoyed the solitude of the desert.  For about 2 hours, more. Then I thought, what am I doing?  I started to feel regret.  That, this is the last thing I need.  More alone time. 

So, as I was too close to Vegas to turn around, I kept going forward.

I am at the NY,NY Hotel & Casino.  I went straight up to my room (I paid for an early check-in) and decided to take a nap.  

7 hours later (11am - 6 pm-ish) I fell asleep. 

I want to jump in my car and drive home but I won’t.  Haley is there.  And I wouldn’t get home until after midnight. 

So, lesson learned.  Baby steps.  And while I thought this was one, it’s too far from home for right now.

I can’t wait to wake up and get in my car and come home.