That is what death looks like up close and personal, I've discovered. Lily, who previously begged no to be re-hospitalized on Tuesday is now begging to not be released from the same hospital.
I'm at home, as I hired a maid service to arrive today and have the house clean once hospice and Lily were supposed to arrive tomorrow.
Her mother is with her at the hospital and Lily is frantically worried about coming home because of all the tubes in her, doctor visits, etc.
I think she is equating home with death.
Plain and simple.
Even though they are not treating the cancer any longer, she is getting worse. Her esophagus has begun to close up again due to the rapid tumor growth to nearly a pin hole.
So, she's struggling to breathe again there or here.
Perhaps this is her real final wish.
To die in the hospital.
Fucking hell, this is becoming almost too unbearable. 😂
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