Lily is at Verdugo hospital. She didn’t want hospice care at home.
Specifically, she didn’t want us to watch her die.
Lily also has “air hunger”. You can google it. I did. She was also afraid of being released without anybody skilled enough to treat those episodes.
And she was right. Verdugo has a hospital wing for hospice, so our home hospital ambulance’d her down there to kill two birds with one stone.
Being there, last night, was awful. I couldn’t take it for more than an hour.
I left and got home. I passed out sobbing into our bed with the our girls flanking me.
Now, I dread going down there this morning. I actually feel sick. I know Lily is on a morphine drip as her mother slept in the chair next to her all night.
Going quietly into that good night seems like a cruel joke to me now.
Specifically, she didn’t want us to watch her die.
Lily also has “air hunger”. You can google it. I did. She was also afraid of being released without anybody skilled enough to treat those episodes.
And she was right. Verdugo has a hospital wing for hospice, so our home hospital ambulance’d her down there to kill two birds with one stone.
Being there, last night, was awful. I couldn’t take it for more than an hour.
I left and got home. I passed out sobbing into our bed with the our girls flanking me.
Now, I dread going down there this morning. I actually feel sick. I know Lily is on a morphine drip as her mother slept in the chair next to her all night.
Going quietly into that good night seems like a cruel joke to me now.
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