I'm off work today, again. My boss though it'd be best if I were in the hospital again with Lily as some major decisions may likely be made today. Again. Namely, Lily was supposed to be well under chemo treatment a few days ago, which obviously didn't start. So, the cancer is still growing.
I went to the hospital last night. Late. Lily's mother and father were sitting silently in the room with her and no lights on.
I poked my head in and could see her eyes half open. Holding some flowers, I whispered "can you give me a few minutes alone with her?" They both nodded and left the room. The sound of the door closing was comforting.
It was just her and I. As it's always been. And should always continue. Something so normal like a deep hug that seems ages ago happened.
Lily recognized me but was very fidgety in an effort to get comfortable. Her eyes locked on mine and she started crying. I bent over to hug her and while she hugged me back she kept whispering, "I'm so sorry, Glen that I'm putting you through this. I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry," sobbing.
"We'll get through this," I lied with now my now quivering voice.
She pulled away slightly and said, " I don't understand why they won't let me come home with you?"
"It's your kidney, honey, the have to try and fix them first," I said.
"Maybe tomorrow?" she asked crying.
"Maybe tomorrow," I replied.
I then kissed her as her arms weakly fell from my shoulders.
Fuck, I thought again, as I left the hospital room and walked right past her parents.
Fuck fuck fuck!
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